Premarital Counselling
Couples engaged to be married frequently seek out premarital counseling. Premarital counseling aids the engaged couple in discussing a variety of marital issues prior to the day of the wedding. It is the responsibility of the premarital counselor to guide the couple through these sessions and to help them pre pare for their future marriage relationship.
Many brides and grooms become preoccupied with the wedding day itself, and quarrelling about dance floor hire, while neglecting to discuss many of the important issues that may affect the health of their marriage following the wedding. A premarital counselor can help the couple identify these issues and work through them prior to the wedding.
A premarital counselor is in the unique position to offer personal insights and values that can help the bride and groom as they enter into a new phase in their relationship. While different counselors may have their own style and approach to premarital counseling, the guidance they offer can be invaluable for the couple preparing for marriage.
One of the primary tasks of a premarital counselor is to assist the couple in clarifying their personal feelings, values, and attitudes. The bride and groom may share a lot in common, but they may also have some important differences. Most often, these differences are the result of diverse upbringings, faiths, and worldviews
In most cases, the premarital counselor sets the agenda and guides the couple through discussions on a variety of topics. The counselor may make use of questionnaires and personal inventories to help identify specific areas that should be addressed. Typical topics include financial management, parenting styles, relations with in-laws, faith or religious practices, communication skills, conflict resolution, and personal expectations
Ideally, the premarital counselor will be able to help the couple find compatibility even in areas of disagreement. However, in rare cases, there may betimes when the counselor needs to express to the couple his or her concern that the couple may be incompatible. When this happens, the counselor may advise that the couple consider postponing or even canceling the wedding.
As an addition or alternative, some counselors also offer postmarital counseling The rationale is that, after the wedding day, the bride and groom will become more acutely aware of issues between them that need to be resolved. The counseling sessions move from being theoretical discussions by an engaged couple about a future stage in their relationship to being immediately practical for a current marriage relationship. Even counselors who emphasize premarital counseling may offer a post-marital “checkup.”
Not every engaged couple chooses premarital counseling. However, those that do often find that they are better prepared for marriage. Their marriages tend to be healthier and more durable because of the time they have spent with a premarital counselor.